Tuesday, December 25, 2007
This is NurFatin. My gf. Well, my ex.We just broke up. Yup.
Lasted for 2 months.
So, wanna read bout it?
come let me tell you.
So, we just passed our first month kan.
There's one time we were in the train and there's like chicks uh.
i was with her. then i told her 'eh, ader chicks uh!'
but continue saying i love her and gave her a peck on the cheek uh.
in the train yes.
and so start december.
she cant meet me that much coz her parents is off to haji.
so we plan for a movie marathon over at her place and also sentosa together.
but then suddenly. she kept quiet.
for 10 days, i thought she was busy.
then it came to 16days.
i kept calling and she would not pick up.
kept msging, she wouldnt reply.
asked her friend where she go,they have no idea.
and i thought u know, the past is repeating lah.
as in she's actually using me to wait for the other guy.
so with a clean heart i msged her, telling her if there's someone else just tell me coz i understand and we made a promise that we talked things out if something is amiss.
but still she didnt reply.
then i got a msg from friendster.
she says this, she's very pissed off with me coz i did msg her 'u ader chicks uh pat sini'.
and she's been keeping it inside and now she cant take it.
and she's lagi! pissed off that i thought she wud run off to another guy.
realising that, i told her i swear i do not know that she's been keeping it inside.
and my intention was to let her remember the day we were in the train.
coz she knows i love her.
and i just send her those msgs like 3 times? not everytime but random jek
and im surprised she didnt tell me that it bother her.
and so i begun my effort in saying sorry.
thru messages, thru calls that she wudnt want to pick up.
i searched for her at ang mo kio hub for like 2 hrs per search then just sit down at banquet stressing out.
i even bought for her ferero rochere and waited at her dorrstep for 4hrs till neighbours got out with their phones pretending to call the police.
16 days changed to 25days.
i got to know she's staying over at her sis place which i do not know where.
i turned to friends,asking for their opinions,
kak yanee said im being played.
well most of my friends said im being played.
i choose not to believe in them u see.
i then keep msging her telling im having faith in the relationship,having fatih in her.
although i feel the silence and the unintentional mistake i made does not deserve a punishment like this.
but still i keep on msging her every single day.
then, a friendster message appeared one morning.
she said this, she dont think its working out, she thinks it better to break up but she still do love me and she just find it heart breaking to do this.
i suspect someone,guy rather is toying with her brain to tell me those lines.
but i push that thought aside.
and besides, if she do really 'love' me, why break up?
i told her there are other solutions than breaking up and im having hopes.
still i went to ang mo kio to search for her. but still cant find her.
everytime i clicked on her friendster profile there's like guys saying like 'i finally hear her laugh hehehe'. something like that. ibviously i think that she's been telling strangers she just know about our problems. and being the beautiful lady she is, of course guys who're going for her wud say im a jerk wat so ever shit.
and so i turn to yus.
yes yusliza.
haha.
she helped me a lot. she just ask me to be patient and relax.
and so i did.
i was so blank for words to say sorry. i mean i already do not know how to express how sorry i am to fatin till i asked yus to tell me what to say.
and yes yus did made me realise.
i realise now that girls are super duper easily jealous. and i shud not msg her the 'chicks' part tho my intentions is to make her realise how much i love her.
and secondly,i shoud have not doubted her to run for other guys.
but hey, she didnt talked bout it.
but i admit it was my mistake.
and so i told her give us a chance, give me a chance.
the 25days change into one mnth i guess.
yeah. and then she finally replied.
we are breaking up, it hurts me.
yup.i have to give in if thats what she wants.
coz i told her im sorry, i didnt realise that she kept it inside.
and i told her i didnt know i could not make this better.
coz i am trying to make it better, she wudnt give in.
so, might as well break up.
sad isnt it. during the one mnth. i had sleepless nights.
i cant sleep at all at times. i sleep only if the next day i have a soccer game.
and yes
i weep.
and i didnt eat sometimes.
the next thing u know im eating 3chicken chop rice at one go.
then wont eat then eat.
then chug down 3 bottles of plain water.
then dont eat.hahaha.
im a sensitive person i shud say.
but seriously, its like she's playing me out eh?
haha. even if u readers agree, it wont affect me coz its my mistake.
the unintentional mistake.
but the bright side is, yes i am sad.
but it makes me more determine in what i wanna achieve in life u know.
as in yes she deserve better. i couldnt commit fully.
coz i have soccer training.and oppurtunities are opening up for me now.
its as though this incident has so called clicked that refresh button inside of me.
also.
i realise the value of friends here u see.
friends like, Rafie!,Anggerek!,Yusliza!,Eugene!,Khair!,Rahman!,Hidayah!(the kakak at moshi2 jewellery at Jp whom i talk to everytime i go home late),Kak yanee(yes my hyss senior), Norazielah and others.
and also my family like mom sis and bro faiz and big bro.
yes, i finally opened up to mum and she appreciate me telling her how i feel over this r/s thinggy.
yes she appreciate la coz i blanja her Pizza hut!
hahahaha.
so yeah, dearest Fatin, i know u're not reading this. but i thank you for ur time being with me.
u're such a great person, and yes you deserve better.
im sorry that u didnt realise how much i felt for you thru my apologies.
tc now.
ok readers, any comments? just tagg yeah. love you all la!
and anggerek and rafie, IM BACK LA SIAL!
bring out the craps!
ciao.
but i still having hopes that she'd turn around and realise.
aha, thats me.
and izzat! sorry i lied to you yesterday. hehe
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