hooked on this is how i dissapear by MCR.. aite,things have been rough lately in the familia.. yea...due to just one tiny problem,dad gone berzerk on everyone.. just throw my mood off...yea...fell like blasting every damn word at my dad and my siblings...and yea,thanks a lot eh korang...oh well...but there this saying in malay 'air dicincang,tiada putus' it mean however u try to blender water,it will not break...yea..so it reflects on family..no matter what times we going through,we are still family..thinking of that just made my system cool down..chill...eventhough mum is still nagging..well not now.. yesterday went to vivo..to cool things off with family...had 4obucks vouche from haagen daaz(my birthday gift from dad)..so,spent it on family..well..ice cream is icecream..i love ma waffles dream,or sumting like that and love my sis cookies and cream ice cream thinggy... but still..dad's mood is like sooooo soooo off...i dont know why.. still wondering..i know that family is having problems...thats why this friday we all going to KL...
well,finally,just now,mum bombarded me with the problem that my parents are dealing with...and boy,i nearly had a heartattack...okok..heartache rather...serious,putting myself in their position..i nearly cried...serious... go d damn..im like finding blame..but no,its our problem...and like duh! finding blame wont solve things...aww fuck..thinking it over and over again...pity ma dad..and mum as well..with grandma sick...bro with continuing studies.... i feel..i feel like...like...stabbing someone or punching sumting..serious.... but then i calm myself down...just sat and stare in my room for like 7mins,tensing up my whole body till i have headache..and i came to a decision to lift my free weights till i really sweat out and muscles cramp here and there..it work,....serious man....like...arrrrrrgggghhh!!!!!...i cant run to noone not even my friends coz mind you,this is very personal,.....very very!...crying? i bottled it up for the mean time.....i'll try to enjoy myself or make me laugh or sumting....arrrrrGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... aite....one thing to do....grab pillow,scream loud..hahahahaha... still..im gonna follow out with my plan.....insya'allah...
''Can you hear me cry out to you,words I thought I'd choke on''
